Discovering Strength in Vulnerability

By Melissa Moore

“Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren’t always comfortable, but they’re never weakness.”    Brene’ Brown

In Karuna Training, we are interested in cultivating a genuine connection with ourselves and wholeheartedly connecting with others. This kind of heartfelt connection requires taking a risk into the vast internal arena of our vulnerability. 

Consider all the times we have fretted about how to let another person know what and how we feel. For example, when entering into a new relationship, we may feel insecure about ourselves for various reasons, like we’ve been out of a relationship for some years, or we feel insecure about sexuality, or we just are scared of getting hurt again. Expressing those vulnerabilities openly and honestly to our love interest will reveal important information. If they respond equally openly, then we are usually relieved and happy to go forward in the relationship- and if not, then we wouldn’t have wanted to enter that relationship anyway. 

Or what about with people we love and care about the most, like our parents, children, or partners - when we want them to know how we feel and what is happening with us in the face of their behavior?  Sometimes, the people we are closest to are the most difficult people with whom to show our vulnerability. However, having led process groups and communication sessions with multiple people, I’ve come to trust that our open expression of vulnerability is almost always reciprocated or held with deep respect. It takes a lot of bravery to open up when we lack trust in another. And that bravery usually pays off, even though it's counter-intuitive to wade into the murky waters of feeling ill at ease. 

Sometimes, we feel vulnerable, and we are not even sure why we feel that queasy, shaky sensation inside, but it's helpful to have tools to explore our emotions, especially when they are undefined. That is precisely what we dedicate ourselves to in Karuna Training. We offer methods to stop trying to think our way through emotions and instead ground ourselves in our bodies to explore emotional energy as it arises somatically. It's not always comfortable, but it's a method that makes us more robust and courageous and breeds strength of heart and clarity of mind. 

We begin to discover that our vulnerability is the cauldron of our greatest strength. What we are avoiding is falling apart or making a fool of ourselves. However, when we open up to others with genuine feelings, we take responsibility for ourselves, which breeds respect and resonance. Somewhere along the line, we have internalized a message that showing weakness is not okay. And yet, it is our willingness to display our soft spots that connects us to other human beings. All humans have soft spots, which are the grounds of a compassionate and courageous heart, and these soft spots need to be tapped to activate them. 

Showing and admitting vulnerability is most difficult for me when I want to be right or be the one who wins, say, in an argument or in holding a particular point of view. Sometimes, when my husband and I have a flash of anger or a strong disagreement, we solidify our boundaries and become very tight and close to being the right one. At some point, for the energy to flow again, one of us has to soften and enter into that sickening feeling of giving in; we could call it forgiveness. Forgiveness is a very vulnerable arena to enter and accomplish. It takes softening toward ourselves first - enough to admit our part in a conflict. I experience that when I embody my feelings and accept my internal vulnerability inside - it is always reciprocated. 

Karuna Training has refined a trauma-informed approach, allowing participants to explore vulnerability in a facilitated space of a familiar community aimed toward the same aspirations. The training operates in a cohort model, where we explore our relationships with one another over two years to discover our particular style of vulnerability and how we solidify our egos when we choose not to feel vulnerable. It is a golden opportunity to learn and experiment trusting our vulnerability within the cohort, rather than in our regular lives, so Karuna provides a practice ground. In doing so, we birth a genuine heart of strength, courage, and the ability to find an authentic expression in our acquaintances, relationships, and families. Please join me on Saturday, July 27th, from 9 AM to 11 AM Mountain time for a live, in-person introduction to Karuna's methods for discovering strength within vulnerability. I hope to see you there.