Aspirations over Resolutions for the New Year
By Melissa Moore
It’s that time of year again…
It’s time to consider the opportunity of the New Year before us, a new chapter, and potentially a fresh start. Usually, we resolve to do things differently, and often we identify something we want to stop doing. How many resolutions have you made that didn’t go anywhere? We resolve to stop eating sugar, stop binging on Netflix, spend less time on devices, or get off the couch and exercise! Many New Year’s resolutions are based on self-admonishment, and we use the New Year to reprimand ourselves with resolve to do it differently.
This New Year, we could find another way to initiate the change we desire by learning to make aspirations over resolutions. Aspirations are a more friendly approach toward ourselves to instigate change. For example, we could aspire for inspiration to cook for ourselves in a way that nurtures us the same as sugar does; or we can aspire for more engaging activities with friends and more passion in life than we find on Netflix. Or we could aspire to find real-world activities like walks in nature, musical instruments, or books that nourish us more than our electronic devices.
Learning to aspire over resolve in the New Year invites passion, creativity, and space. New Year aspirations, as opposed to resolutions, are less defined and open-ended.
New Year’s resolutions based on self-admonishment can be unkind ways of perpetuating the habit of making ourselves wrong and unworthy. We forget to reflect on what’s driving our undesired behaviors or relationships. We forget to ask ourselves what these behaviors and relationships are serving. For example, we binge on sugar because we’ve eaten poorly all day, or we binge on Netflix because we feel unengaged in our relationship. Typically, it’s difficult to understand what is going on when we take the time to reflect on ourselves with kindness. In Karuna, we call this practice of reflecting kindly Maitri, a Sanskrit word that means loving kindness towards ourselves and others. With the attitude of Maitri, we learn to foster self-understanding and patience toward ourselves.
True aspiration is something we feel inspired by. It adds direction and curiosity to our lives. We find out there are more things we want than things we don’t want. Opportunities manifest when we learn to cultivate a rising mind of aspiration. Instead of something flat and dry like, “ I aspire to exercise more in 2023’. An aspiration sets a psychic intention, is more open-ended, and is inspired. “I aspire to discover an exercise that I enjoy doing” or “I aspire for an exercise partner, which makes exercise more fun.” We rise to aspirations out of passion, as opposed to resolutions that often result from aggression towards ourselves. This can be subtle, but a resolution solves a problem. We firmly decide on a course of action and lock into something we’ve come to out of failure and disgust.
I like to make lists to know what I have to do and to stay on task. Long ago, in reality… only six years ago, I realized that my ‘to-do’ lists were seriously weighing me down. I was so busy accomplishing what was on the list that I was losing track of what I wanted to do. The more enriching things in my life that mattered to me were not on those lists. My aspirations were not on those lists: writing a book, learning to play guitar, studying history, reading more fiction, etc.
I’ve also noticed that specific dreams I’ve accomplished have come about organically, like learning to garden or hand-tiling my patio with river rocks. I never wrote those things down on a list – although they were things I’d aspired for many years. I’d seen hand-tiled patios in Northern California everywhere, and I desired to do the same one day.
Last year, in March, I took my gardening aspiration to a new level and grew seeds indoors. beginning in March. I live in Colorado, where the growing season is short, and gardening is more challenging than in California, where I learned. So aspirations evolve and develop and offer us an exploration of the things we are most passionate about.
Aspiration doesn’t need to be written down, although people are different in modalities that work for them. Aspiration can be mulled over in one’s mind for years, and then one day, we notice - there we are - deep into gardening. Also, aspirations evolve and look differently than we initially imagined them.
Choose a rising mind aspiration this New Year by learning to make open-ended aspirations!
You can take yourself through a simple exercise by answering these questions.
Take time to reflect on your answers, either through contemplation or journaling. Tune into your body and notice where you are in the present moment before you begin.
- Tune into behaviors or relationships you wish to change.. Take a few breaths and consider your topics and where you feel them in your body. If possible, don’t judge yourself; if you do, just notice and take a breath. Don’t try to figure anything out - we are simply identifying the feeling in our bodies about that which we desire to change.
- Once you can sense the issue(s), drop deeper inside yourself with kindness and curiosity toward yourself and simply feel what you are feeling..
- Ask yourself what these undesired behaviors or relationships are doing for you. We usually do things because they work or once did, so sit kindly with yourself and ask what’s working. Don’t judge your answers. Usually, we know right away when we remember to ask.
- Spend time feeling into whatever truth you find within yourself – and take more time to consider what you desire if no conditions were hampering your life; what would life look like?
- Make a simple rising mind aspiration that circumstances evolve to what you want in your life instead of reprimanding yourself with a resolution.
- After that, release and return to the present moment – notice what kind of space has opened up within.
When we arise out of aspirations - we are inspired to find opportunities. An open aspiring mind generates auspicious coincidences; our main task is recognizing the opportunities to make a change.